Saturday, January 22, 2011

Awful, Artful Texan Pride

Ok, so I know I'm always going on about how weird the Texan superiority complex is (here, here, here, and here), but I've finally found a way that I'm able to embrace it - through super bad, totally bizarre, extremely nationalistic (state-alistic?) arts, crafts, and decorations. Take a look at these odes and accolades to the Lone Star State:

The Ornamental:

Just your run-of-the-mill GIGANTIC YARD DECORATION.


Texan hippie art. This would look great next to a crystal collection or lava lamp.


The opposite of Texas hippie art. This is a wall decoration. What about if Grandpa has a heart attack? Do Texans shoot him?


A special little Christmas ornament for the tree. Loving the glitter lasso!


The Absurd:

I suspect Van Gogh would be pleased with this adaptation, no?


No way, no where better to give approbations than with beer bottle caps inside a men's room.


I suppose it's very "come hither" to natives?


The Fashion:

The ubiquitous "Texas-is-greater-than-everything-else" t-shirts...this one looks a little ominous for Oklahoma, Louisiana, Mississippi, Arkansas...


This one's just slightly aggressive. For Texas, that is.


And this one's on my Christmas list. HELL YES, WINDBREAKER.


To be fair, I love shitty, extravagant, and silly art, so it's all pretty awesome to me (...kind of). But I can't help but feel that sometimes it goes too far. Texas pride tattoos are constantly being peacocked around (I suppose it is mostly summer in this state), and the pervasive ornamental crap is inescapable, not to mention visual assaults from jerks in cursing t-shirts. I am constantly struggling with this sort of bombastic display of superiority, coming from one of the other 49 states that places little to no emphasis on how awesome it is (Pennsylvania, where is your t-shirt?). Where is this lesson in state chauvinism enculturated? Why is it so prominent here compared to other states? Why the fierce loyalty and aggressive propaganda?


Seriously, WTF.

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