Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Texas Store: Exactly Like It Sounds

Finally, a place to get all of my holiday shopping done! A delightful boutique boasting the bounty of the great state of Texas.

Texas Store. No fancy or foreign words to confuse you. Oh, you introduce your nouns with an article? Whatre ya, one ah them ed-you-cated e-leet? They don't even need originality or cleverness to get you in the door. These goods sell themselves, people.

The shirt sale sounded extremely promising! And then I entered the land-of-all-things-porcelain-crap, plus keychains. Finally, a use for my new acronym. OMFGDMWTX!!!!:


Texas has over 200 universities and colleges, including Rice, Texas A&M, Southern Methodist, and Baylor, but as a tourist, you might never realize this. But while only some of you like learning, everybody likes FOOTBALL!!!!! Subsequently the ubiquity of Longhorn apparel takes all precedent over any prestigious school.

Are you noticing the football phone in the top left corner?

And just because I'm an exposer of conspiracy/truth:

Y'all ain't welcome here. Xenophobia with a side of hot sauce, literally.

1 comment:

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